残酷な人間。

Aren't we all?  

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aren’t we all
just butterflies
above
elephant
graveyards?

And on the 7th day

I am still working! It’s not that I am complaining. It’s just that I will be in the office again for the next 5 days — straight! That means 12 days of work! So much for the 12 days of Christmas. And I know I should be thankful for having a job at this time of my life — I am. I am very much thankful and grateful.

But the strains I am subjecting my life to is becoming too much. Less than 5 hours of sleep a day; two and a half hours of travel to and fro the office; the fatigue brought by thinking and worrying about the littlest matters; your crush not even looking at you everyday; why does it have to be this hard?

I am sighing away the younger years of my life. I am enjoying what I am slaving my earth body for, though. I guess an ounce of happiness is not that bad of a consolation.

But then again, do not work too much! Relax whenever possible and five minutes more. And love yourself. Kiss your parents and siblings. Sip a cup of sweet coffee. Scribble on your crush’s notes. Say hi to him. Measure how long your shaved hair is growing. There are so many reasons one has to smile about.

And I am now smiling. I’m no longer making sense, am I? I will be leaving my desk now. Say, “Yay!” then a calm goodbye.

Laters, babe. (try winking after)


You don’t have to read this, by the way.
life is hard, but diamonds are harder.

Yes! Another reason to display a photograph inclusive of my face; this may as well serve as an update of how my hair is faring after being less than a centimeter short. Too much hair product a day is too much.A very dear friend of ours — the beautiful, young lady clothed with white flowers — only had less than a day to spend in Manila after her vacation in South Korea. And just a few hours before her flight back to Singapore (she works her soul out for her family there which I admire about her the most), we crammed, like how we always did in high school, our fresh-from-the-office-and-an-hour-of-commuting bodies to find her a gift which she can conveniently use in her next two years as an OFW (inserting sad puppy face here).We were ecstatic after finally embracing and speaking with her even just for almost an hour. We will miss you again, PR! ‘Till then, my love! Stay true and beautiful!To our friends and families with love xo.PS. Please don’t mind the bulge. It’s just the inappropriate fold of my pants.

Yes! Another reason to display a photograph inclusive of my face; this may as well serve as an update of how my hair is faring after being less than a centimeter short. Too much hair product a day is too much.

A very dear friend of ours — the beautiful, young lady clothed with white flowers — only had less than a day to spend in Manila after her vacation in South Korea. And just a few hours before her flight back to Singapore (she works her soul out for her family there which I admire about her the most), we crammed, like how we always did in high school, our fresh-from-the-office-and-an-hour-of-commuting bodies to find her a gift which she can conveniently use in her next two years as an OFW (inserting sad puppy face here).

We were ecstatic after finally embracing and speaking with her even just for almost an hour. We will miss you again, PR! ‘Till then, my love! Stay true and beautiful!

To our friends and families with love xo.



PS. Please don’t mind the bulge. It’s just the inappropriate fold of my pants.

I’m floating down the river (no, just by my bed sheets), reading words like peripatetic and androgynous, while listening to a mixtape with a four and a half minute Hawaiian track. This afternoon is a drag.


Save me, Nebraska.

“I don’t think anyone ever gets over anything in life; they merely get used to it.”

— Douglas Coupland (via durianseeds)

(Source: durianquotes, via durianseeds)


靈氣 by (Huen *)

靈氣 by (Huen *)

(Source: R2--D2, via r2--d2)

the moon is after me
every night.

tell me if the wind
still breathes through the emerald,
escaping eastward.

fold me golden
paper flowers
under the morning
blue, then let me

tear them
petal by petal
until I say,

"you love me, too."

While inside the van with officemate C going home late from the office.
  • C: "Ayan! Umuulan na tuloy. Ang nega mo kasi eh!" (There! It's already raining. It's because you're too pessimistic.)
  • Me: "No, it's not!"
  • C: "No... it's yes!"

you can actually love someone else.

But no!

My yester-Saturday was not spent for naught at all! I went to my dermatologist to somehow salvage what is left of my scarred facial epidermis. Though the lady staffs were already friends with me, it was still prickly painful! I remember it lasted for about almost an hour! Too dirty was too dirty of a face, so suck it all in. The only consolation to the stings was a clean face! I shall return, ladies!

After the hygienic 2 hours, I then spent the next 3 hours and a half with my close friend near the beach talking about our great selves and our weekly endeavors and their antonyms — whatever that means.

I told her about the crush(es) in the office. And how one did not laugh at my supposed to be joke about myself. Here is the “back” story (as how one very smart officemate would say) to that joke. One afternoon in the office, while pretending to type the resolution to my overflowing balance of my program’s output, someone called me asking if I were employed (probably because he felt I still emanate through my name the bum within me). Wanting to end the conversation fast because I had to be more productive of a unibanker and all, I answered, “I am currently employed right now.” Immediately after hanging up, I repeated what I just said aloud. No one reacted to the anomaly but me! Ugh. Have I been this too critical of humans’ spoken speech? There. That’s the joke. I posted it as  a quotation in my Facebook account thinking that people would/should get it. But none did! Only this close friend reacted but thought I was serious and mistakenly used 2 similar adverbs of time in one sentence. And this is the “back” story.

After a few minutes of purposely letting others see my fault in English, one crush of mine sent me a message saying, “Employed by who? Haha” And all of the sunshine behind her every time I look at her, slowly faded away. She didn’t know it was for laughs… Or maybe she was also trying to jest? I sighed to myself and pretentiously excitedly replied in the hopes she would finally get it but no. She didn’t. 

Beauty is at times unfortunately skin deep.

So, one crush down. And more to go (laughs flirtingly). And the other one should be more twitterpating.

And that was my Saturday. 

Thank you for not reading and not giving a care xo










the sun behind you is dying
but your beauty must not
neither your eyes…

Another Saturday to be wasted on average Internet connection and men wearing nothing but their smooth skin.


This should be exciting. Help me.

“Why not try dating him? If you don’t like him, you can stop.”

Shizuku Tsukushima, Whisper of the Heart